


Bite Me!

by oddsnends



Category: The Last Kingdom (TV)
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 04:14:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18909334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oddsnends/pseuds/oddsnends





	Bite Me!

"Oi, oi!" Osferth nudged Finan in the side. "Check it out." He snorted, his stupid, outdated mushroom cut getting in the way of Finan's view. "Isn't that your girlfriend?"

Setting his sights on the scene that had captured Osferth's attention; Finan groaned inwardly. Across the bar some meat head, who had been skipping too many leg days, was chatting up his favourite waitress. Finan had no claim to the lovely lady, but there was no secret that he was absolutely smitten with her. 

"She's not my girlfriend." Finan drained the last of his pint.

Yet. 

"But you want her to be." Osferth snickered. 

Everybody had noticed the copious amount of flirting between the two, it was a sad sight. Watching them flirt, yet neither of them taking the next step. 

"Bite me." Clenching his jaw, Finan snorted. "Look at that arseling, he's so drunk he can't even see straight." 

She probably had hundreds of men flirt with her on a daily basis, why did Finan ever think he was special? She was entertaining this loser in the exact same manner she often did Finan. 

To a woman like her, in a job like this, Finan was another loser. A loser who would come in, have a drink with his friends, tell her some jokes, and earn a polite laugh with a little bit of flirting. 

Finan took a sip of his ale, licking his lips. 

He was a rational man, he knew a pity flirt when he saw one. 

Patting the Irishman's shoulder, Osferth continued to gloat. "It's okay, Fin, I understand. Nothing wrong with a little jealousy." 

"Fuck off, I'm not jealous." Finan rolled his eyes, wiping the back of his hand across his lips, to remove the foam from his beard. "And I do not have to sit here and take this from you." 

"Because you know I am right?" Osferth's eyes were lit with glee. "Go talk to her, surely Finan the great isn't scared of a woman?" 

Ordering another, Finan slouched forward, his elbows on the bar top. His dark eyes following her every movement, like a hunter watching his prey - even if it did make Finan feel suddenly creepy and disgusting, he couldn't take his eyes off her. 

Despite what he would tell Osferth, he was a wee bit jealous. 

Finan had spent months trying to find the courage to take this casual flirting to something more. Whenever he tried, he froze. Struck down by her beauty and frozen with the terror that she would turn him down. 

Again, she probably flirted with hundreds of customers, all in the chase for a decent tip at the end of the night. 

"You boys okay here?" A sudden shiver ran through Finan's spine, when her voice approached them. 

"Actually," Osferth spoke up. 

"We're fine, thank you." Finan glared at Osferth, daring him to speak another word. 

"If you need anything, ask." She winked and sauntered back behind the bar, preparing to grab another round of drinks for a group of customers. 

"You should ask her out," Osferth smirked, hopping off his stool and rubbing his hands against his jeans. "But that is just my opinion." 

"Where are you off to?" Finan ignored the words. 

"Got to see a man about a horse." Osferth continued to smirk. "Grow some balls while I am away and ask." 

"Meh mee meh mi." Finan mocked Osferth as the younger man walked toward the back of the bar. "Ask, fuck you." He grumbled lifting his ale and taking a long drink. 

What good would it do? She was probably married or at the very least in a committed relationship. Finan was a lot of things, but an adulterer was not one. Finished with his pint and with Osferth's nagging; Finan slid the appropriate amount of cash onto the bar top and nodded to the bar tender. 

He would wait outside of Osferth. 

Around the corner of the bar, under the street light, a cigarette lit Finan stood waiting for his friend. When he was about to go in search of Osferth, for fear he'd fallen down the urinal, his attention was brought to the man with the outdated mushroom cut bursting through the exit and onto the street. 

"That haircut makes you look like a monk." Finan teased. 

"A monk who happens to be your best wing man." Osferth grinned, holding a napkin out for Finan to see. "You're welcome, by the way." 

"Excuse you?" 

"Since you're obviously blinded by jealousy and too daft to ask, I did it for you. You're picking her up at 6:30 on Tuesday." Osferth handed over the napkin with the phone number scrawled across it.


End file.
